| Sascha (E-Mail nur eingeloggt Sichtbar) am 23.12.2018 19:03 Uhr |
Live from President's Park
in the heart of the nation's capital,
it's America's Christmas
Tree Lighting 2018.
This year, we celebrate
the festive season
in a time-honored holiday tradition
featuring performances
from Trisha Yearwood,
Wynonna Judd, The Texas Tenors,
with Kathie Lee Gifford and Dean Cain.
Please welcome our
host, Mr. Jeff Pickles.
Your parents don't deserve you.
If they did, you wouldn't
be able to walk from
Los Angeles to Beijing on a
bridge of floating plastic.
What's left to drink when the water
has too much lead in it?
The orange juice has too much sugar.
They put so many hormones in the milk,
girls are spending their
eighth birthday with Aunt Flo.
They want me to put Soap
Scum on a tampon box.
They want Ennui hawking antidepressants.
You are the product of narcissism.
Your parents look at you
and see their own death.
They either expect more of
you than you can give them
or, worse, nothing at all.
Statistically, they hate each other.
They use you to fix their flaws.
They want you to read
the books they won't.
You are the caviar of a trout.
Your parents will always love you enough
to pretend they love you.
That's why they buy you dolls,
so you can practice pretending too.
Your parents are failing you.
Mine did, and yours do.
Every day.
I know this because
they leave you with me.
Don't believe me?
Next time you're watching my show,
call out for your mom or your dad.
Do they respond?
No.
Of course not.
They're avoiding you.
Your mom is chasing down
a handful of Klonopin
with a Diet Dr Pepper.
And Dad is out there drinking
from the bottles that empty him.
I like you,
the friends who visit me on television.
But I'm not your father.
And I shouldn't be.
I killed my son.
...
I didn't listen to him.
So he didn't listen to me.
Turns out, I was a pretty good
talker but a terrible listener.
Why didn't I listen?
Because I can be selfish too.
If I had really listened to him,
I would have heard my own
flaws, my own anger.
For me to address his flaws,
I would have had to admit to my own.
If I had listened to him,
maybe he would have listened to me.
Maybe he would have done his homework.
Maybe he would have put on a seat belt.
Now it's almost Christmas. Again.
And in that spirit,
I want you to go to where
your parents hide things.
Sometimes it's a special drawer
or the linen closet.
All children know where this is.
It's where your parents
hide your presents.
I want you to open them early.
It's all right.
I say it's okay.
I don't wanna fail you anymore.
Did you get a talking Mr. Pickles?
Go ahead. Pull the string.
And, Jill, if you're listening,
I'm sorry.
I will always love you.
